Anonymous Notes

Is it our destiny as a species to mull over the perpetually spilt milk. I mean yeah sure stuff never goes quite as you planned it but why does the grass on the other side of the curtain always seem greener.

Who is to say that if things had gone the other way it would be better. What is better? Human beings are so wrapped up in their own misery, that when you take it away you basically leave them no choice but to create more of it.

I have made choices in my life I’m none too pleased with. I often think back and mull over the ever present ‘What if?’

• If only I had the courage to hold on
• If only I had paid more attention
• If only that perfect moment had come
• If only…..

The list is endless but the answers are just as numerous. I can never know what would have transpired if something I did or said was different. Mere mortals like me can, but dream and hope that the next time I make a decision it will be one which will never cause me to look back. That I will have that perfect life that noone has but everyone wants. The eternal quest for a elusive and deluded notion of what I want.

It’s high time I realized that what people hope and aspire for me will rarely clash with what I might end up doing. Notice it’s not “What I want to do” it’s “What I might end up doing”. I firmly believe that the person who really knows what he/she wants to do is at least a blue moon if not a 4 legged flying mammal.

Anyway, back on topic. I just had a member of the extended family ask me whether I was to bid adieu to my bachelorhood at a near point of time. The question seems to be a perplexing exercise to my kin. Some have gone as far as to suggest that my folks are actively involved in these calisthenics.

My standard answer as of last week has now become “When you come to know please do inform me.” It’s hard enough not knowing when you might actually meet someone interesting let alone figuring out the intrigues of an arranged marriage which is happening even as I speak of it.

For the record:

• No.
• No.
• Maybe.
• And I am not aware of any events set in motion for the above

And that’s all I have to say about that.

White Noise is an integral part of life these days. The pure wretchedness of nubile eardrums tortured into thoughtless submission.

Knock Knock
Who’s there.
< white noise>
white noise who?
if you can’t really hear me why did you answer the door.

Well enough bad jokes for a day. But just imagine this

Adam and Eve come down to the the 21st century and go back wearing hearing aids.

The whole human race is born with diminished cochlear capacity and hence makes even more noise than was present in the first place.

And the whole cycle repeats itself…

Up untill either of the progenitor’s heads are blown apart by the incessant screaming of Cain/Abel at which point we find the whole human race dissapears since no more children could be borne by Adam and Eve..(explaination here scroll down to “WHERE DID CAIN GET HIS WIFE?”)

I am a river, a mountain, a sea
A wisp of smoke from the nether

None but crosses my door
and none I cross too

But mingled in existance
I am destined to be

I reap, I sow, I harvest, I bleed
This clay one day i shall meet

A voice lost, a face drowned
forever in eternity

A sleeping fog creeps
through these walls where I plead

I drudge, I fake, I bend, I break
In time I learn the truth

The face that resides in the smoke
The one and only maxim

That one is but alone in this world
and you are but sleeping awake

I was in Delhi this last week and finally got the time to fix up wordpress and gallery2 on my website for my blog and Image Gallery.

I had a small episode returning to Bangalore which involved a confusion of Airport Terminals but all in all I’m back

Will write soon.